


5 Times Steve Got Arrested and 1 Time They All Did

by heartsdesire456



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: 5+1 Things, Canon Compliant, Comedy, Gen, Humor, M/M, Multi, Steve Rogers and the 21st Century, Steve Rogers is a little shit
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-24
Updated: 2014-07-24
Packaged: 2018-02-10 07:33:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,816
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2016438
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/heartsdesire456/pseuds/heartsdesire456
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>What it says, 5 times Steve Rogers ended up in jail (with and without Bucky) + 1 time all of the Avengers got arrested with him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	5 Times Steve Got Arrested and 1 Time They All Did

**Author's Note:**

> Basically, I have this annoyance with the lack of people writing fics about how Steve is a rebellious little shit who went looking for reasons to stir up trouble and write him as a saint or something.
> 
> This is basically my take on Steve getting in trouble in the 21st century for VERY STEVE-LIKE THINGS!

1.

“Rogers, you made bail.” 

When Steve got out front, Tony was waiting with an unimpressed look on his face and an annoyed lawyer at his side. “I cannot believe I just had to bail _Captain America_ out of _jail_ ,” Tony stressed and Steve rolled his eyes.

“Oh c’mon, like you’ve never been arrested-“

“I haven’t been arrested, I’m too rich to have been arrested, and I THOUGHT you were too sensible to be arrested!” Tony said, shaking his head as they started to leave the precinct. “I swear to God, young man, I will be having a talk with your father-“

“Tony,” Steve sighed, rolling his eyes. “Can we not? At least until we get home?” he complained. Tony eyed him up and down but finally gave in when they got to the car that had been pulled around for them.

~

Almost as soon as they got to the common living room, the others were on them. “Dude, did STEVE really get arrested?!” Clint asked, jumping over the back of the couch to run over. “Steve, this is a joke, right-“

“Of course it is,” Natasha called from her spot on the couch. “Captain ‘oh, I beg your pardon, miss’ wouldn’t do anything to sully his good name.”

“Are we sure?” Bruce asked, shrugging as he pushed his glasses up his nose. “I mean… Steve isn’t much of a prankster-“

“I do not understand. Is feigning incarceration amusing here?” Thor asked curiously. “I fear I fail to understand much of the humor in this realm.”

Tony glowered at Steve as he walked over to the couch and shoved Natasha’s feet out of the way to flop down, letting her put them back in his lap. “Oh it’s real alright. Unless my lawyer can get Steve off, he has a serious fine for ‘Criminal Mischief’ coming his way. We’re talking many thousands of dollars, which yeah, it’s not a big deal, but he’ll have a criminal record to go with it.”

Clint’s eyes widened. “Oooh what did you do?!”

Steve sighed. “It’s not that big of a deal, Tony, you’re getting all worked up-“

“You keyed a car!” he accused. “I’m getting worked up and you _keyed_ an Audi!”

Natasha looked up. “Whoa, what?” she asked, and Steve shrugged, looking unashamed as he crossed his arms.

“The guy deserved worse,” he said, and Natasha gave him a prodding look. He sighed. “Okay, so this woman was walking in front of me, and this jerk slowed down to drive along at her speed and yelled obscene shit out the window at her. She looked real scared, and I yelled at him to knock it off, and he just said ‘fuck off’, so when he got stopped at the red light, I walked up between the cars and scratched his car all the way down the side,” Steve said with a smirk. “Should’ve seen the look on his face.”

“Yeah, until he flagged down that bike cop and you were wearing that stupid old guy jacket, so when he described you and pointed your way, they knew it was you.” Tony pointed out.

Bruce gave Steve a sly grin. “Good job, Steve,” he said, reaching across the gap between them to high-five Steve. Natasha raised an eyebrow at Bruce, who matched her with his own raised eyebrow. “What? I was a college student in the eighties, you don’t have to be an old-timey gentleman to be a feminist,” he said with a shrug and Tony rolled his eyes dramatically.

“Yeah, Audi Guy was a dick, but Steve got _arrested_ -“

“Stark, you told _congress_ to suck your dick,” Clint pointed out. “Can you really argue there?”

Tony gave him a flat look. “I used to snort blow off of eighteen year old supermodel’s thighs, I’m not exactly a great role model. Steve is all kitten rescue and patriotism and wholesome goodness and apple pie. He’s _literally_ Mr. Rogers, but he is not being who Mr. Rogers believed he could be if he gets arrested.”

Steve frowned. “Mr. Rogers?” he asked Natasha, who shrugged.

Bruce and Clint both gave them sympathetic looks. “Well that’s depressing,” he said and Clint nodded.

“The point is, you’re supposed to be like a nun! Not a biker!” Tony argued.

Steve pointed at him. “I actually do drive a motorcycle, and also, nuns in Sunday school hit really hard when I was a kid,” he argued.

Tony threw his hands up and left, as if he knew there was no winning this one.

~

2.

Steve was glad Tony was out of town when he was led out from the holding cells and found Natasha waiting for him with an amused tilt to her lips. When they got outside to the car waiting to take them back to the tower, Steve spoke. “I’m really sorry for troubling you, but Sam’s in DC and Tony’s out of town-“

“It’s okay,” Natasha said, shaking her head. “What was it this time?”

Steve grimaced. “Pickpocketing,” he admitted and Natasha gave him an impressed look.

“Wait, you can hotwire a car first, but now you tell me you can pickpocket too?” she demanded and he shrugged, blushing some. 

“It’s my eyes,” Steve said and she looked unconvinced. He smiled sheepishly. “Pickpocketing is about establishing non-threatening eye contact, and I’ve got big, innocent looking eyes.”

Natasha just laughed, but nodded. “Yeah, you definitely have that.” She grinned. “So what the hell made you decide to pickpocket someone?”

Steve tugged at his shirt awkwardly. “At the diner, this waitress was real nice and accommodating for this man, and when she was getting him a refill he tried to skip out without leaving her a tip. So I bumped into him and grabbed him by the sides so he didn’t fall over, like I was worried I’d hurt him or something, and just…” He shrugged. “Slipped my hand in his pocket and took his wallet. I left all his cash on the table with the waitress then left and dropped his wallet in a trashcan.” He bit his lip. “And a cop saw me drop it in.”

Natasha smirked. “You’re not nearly as innocent as Stark thinks you are, huh?”

Steve gave her a look. “Tony seems to think I don’t even curse, and I was in the Army. Nobody is as innocent as Stark thinks I am,” he said and Natasha laughed out loud in response.

~

3.

By the time Steve got released and got back to the Tower, he wasn’t surprised to walk in and see the others sitting and watching the news footage of Captain America being arrested on the TV. He walked sheepishly into the living area and was met with mocking applause from his teammates.

“Lovely job, Steven,” Tony mocked.

Bruce high-fived him on the way past. “Gold star for you.”

“Yep, totally,” Clint said, moving so that Steve could flop onto the couch beside Bucky – newly returned and in possession of most of his memories as of just a month prior – who immediately slung an arm around Steve’s shoulders.

Steve looked at him and Bucky smirked. “Well, some things never change, huh, Punk?”

Steve gave him a crooked grin. “Guess not, Jerk,” he said, leaning into Bucky’s side.

On the television, the footage of Steve being grabbed by four cops and dragged down the steps of the plaza, then shoved into a cop car was voiced over by the anchor reporting on the story. “At today’s rally for human rights in immigration, none other than Captain America himself, Steve Rogers, was among those arrested for refusing to leave the area after ordered to disperse. Seen here is Captain Rogers being hauled away by the NYPD not long before the protest was ended.”

Tony shook his head at Steve. “Three times, Steve. Three times you’ve been arrested in as many months.”

Bucky snorted. “Is that really surprising?” he asked, and every one of them gave him looks like he was crazy. Bucky frowned. “Wait, you are actually surprised?”

Steve grinned, knocking his elbow against Bucky’s ribs. “They all seem to think I’m a saint, Buck. Funniest shit ever.”

Bucky laughed openly. “You guys all- you think- _Steve_?!” He grinned knowingly. “Fellas, does nobody remember the part of the story where this little shit was actually a little shit? You think he got in so many scraps cause trouble followed him?” he asked, and Steve rolled his eyes. “Steve, Stevie,” he said, patting his shoulder. “You would go looking for somebody to get in a fight with. I remember having to talk you down from trying to jump that Italian kid for callin’ Loraine Jones easy to her face.” He waved a hand. “That Italian kid had ‘connections’, if you know what I mean,” he explained to the others. 

Steve grinned. “Yeah, but you still let me convince him I had family in Chicago I could call if he didn’t stop insulting girls.”

Bucky snickered. “Besides, Loraine Jones was easy,” he pointed out and Steve shrugged.

“Hey, still isn’t nice to be mean to her about it.”

Natasha raised an eyebrow at Bruce, who waved a hand. “Italian kid was probably related to mob members, Steve’s Irish, the Irish mobs ran Chicago, that kinda thing.”

“So like the Russians Clint’s in trouble with?” she asked facetiously, throwing a look Clint’s way, and Clint shushed her.

“Nooo if we don’t speak of it, they won’t go all Ivan Drago on me later,” he whined. He looked at Steve. “You’re Irish, huh? Is that why you’re so into the immigration thing?”

Steve nodded. “Yeah, my parents were both immigrants. It wasn’t so bad being Irish back then cause when the Depression hit people stopped being as racist cause we were all just as poor as each other, but back then, immigrants were treated like shit by the people who had been here for generations. I sure as hell never thought I’d wake up in a future that’s the exact fuckin’ same.”

Tony faked a gasp. “Steve Rogers, did you just curse?!”

Steve rolled his eyes. “What the fuck did it sound like?” he asked and Clint cackled at the look on Tony’s face.

Bucky just winked. “You should hear when he really gets angry. He gets going and it’d make a sailor blush.”

Steve grimaced. “It’s not that bad-“

“Your Ma would’ve washed your mouth out with soap,” Bucky accused.

“This is traumatic. It’s like learning Santa isn’t real,” Tony said with a huff. “Steve Rogers says the f-word. Next thing you know, Cherry Pie will start having impure thoughts about women and then where will we be?”

Steve rolled his eyes. “First off, I’m not eight years old, I have plenty of impure thoughts, I just don’t bring it up with the rest of you dirty bastards and harass people over it,” he said. 

“‘Cept the part about ‘women’, hopefully,” Bucky added absently. “Not unless something’s changed I need to know about.”

Clint’s head snapped up, Natasha gave Steve an accusatory glare, and even Bruce looked up in surprise. Tony, however, full on flailed in an attempt to sit up in his chair. “Wait, wait, wait… Are you saying that Steven ‘Mother Teresa’ Rogers has had impure thoughts about _men_?”

Bucky looked at him like he was insane and Steve rolled his eyes, sighing. “Oh yeah, Tony thinks I’m a virgin,” he said flatly and Bucky burst out laughing, eyes bright with amusement. Steve grinned mischievously and chuckled along with Bucky.

Bucky caught his breath and leered at Steve, raising his hand from Steve’s shoulder to twirl in a metal finger in Steve’s hair. “Then I bet he’d really stroke out if he heard the dirty shit you say in bed, huh?” he asked, tugging Steve down to kiss him. Steve just smiled against his lips, eyes opening when Bucky broke the kiss and smacked an extra to Steve’s cheek. “Trust me, Stark, Stevie hasn’t been a virgin for about seventy-seven years,” he said with a wink. “I made damn sure of that one myself,” he said with a cocky look that made Steve roll his eyes and blush slightly.

Bruce was the first one to speak, the others still staring in shock. “Huh… that actually makes a hell of a lot of sense,” he said, and Steve gave him a smile.

“It’s not exactly something I’ve kept hidden since I figured out I wouldn’t have to hide it in this day and time, so I’m surprised this is a shock to you all.”

Natasha gave him a glare. “Wait, is that why you fucking didn’t even try to stop the Winter Soldier on that goddamn carrier?” she demanded and Steve cringed fearfully.

“Well… I just.” He sighed and Bucky rubbed his shoulder comfortingly. “C’mon, Nat, I did my job. I did what I was put there to do, and then maybe I didn’t try after that, but you can’t tell me you would kill your best friend!” He pointed at Clint. “You didn’t kill him when he was brainwashed,” he accused.

Natasha rolled her eyes. “If it was him or me, trust me, Steve, I was walking out of there.”

Clint shrugged. “Eh, she’s not in love with me. Trust me, if it was kill my husband or let him kill me, I’d be a dead man,” he said simply. The others nodded sagely, though they all seemed to come to a realization at various intervals.

It was Bruce who picked up his head and asked, “Wait, what husband?” 

Clint raised an eyebrow. “Uh, my husband? The one I’m married to,” he said as if Bruce had asked a stupid question.

Natasha smirked. “They don’t know, remember?” she pointed out and Clint blinked.

“Oh, yeah, sorry.” He waved a hand. “You should know SHIELD has a new secret rebuilding thing going on, Coulson is the new Director of SHIELD, and that makes me SHIELD first lady or some shit.”

The outburst of questions was interspersed with tirades of cursing and more than a few off-color remarks about quite a few people’s mothers at that information.

~

4.

For once, Steve actually looked sheepish when Tony picked him and Bucky up this time. “Well, at least you didn’t get charged with anything,” he said and Bucky scoffed.

“Please, what kinda pansy city do we live in when you get arrested for defending a kid in a fuckin’ wheelchair-“

Steve rolled his eyes. “Since we’re adults and we threatened teenagers?” he tried and Bucky gave him a flat look.

“And the kid in the wheelchair was about twelve,” he said and Tony chuckled as he led them out to the car.

“The way I hear it, you threatened to snap his leg off and beat him to death with it,” he said and Bucky preened.

“Sure did!” he said, sliding into the car first. 

Steve just rolled his eyes at Tony. “Sorry about this, he just-“

Tony waved a hand. “Relax, Buddy, we all know how Bucky is.”

~

When they got back to the tower, Steve had to go find Natasha to ask her something, but Tony followed Bucky to the kitchen. Bucky seemed to deflate some now that Steve was gone and Tony rolled his eyes but got him a beer, sliding it across the counter to him. “Alright, Buddy, what’s up?”

Bucky shrugged. “It’s nothing,” he muttered.

“What’s up with who?” Bruce asked as he ambled in, hair rumpled, looking half asleep. He opened the refrigerator and grabbed the orange juice and started to drink from the carton before Tony cleared his throat and glared. Bruce rolled his eyes and got a glass.

“You’re a scientist, you know how disgusting that is,” he said and Bruce flipped him off.

“I was awake for three days straight and slept for eighteen hours. I couldn’t care less right now if I give you all my germs.” He blinked tiredly at Bucky. “You okay?”

Tony chuckled. “I just picked him and Steve up from jail. This time Steve had a partner in getting arrested,” he explained.

Bucky shrugged, ruffling his hair – still long, in spite of Steve offering to cut it multiple times – distractedly. “These assholes were picking on a little girl in a wheelchair, and I couldn’t take it, so I kinda… shoved a few of them. Threatened to kill the others,” he said and Bruce winced.

“Aw man, that isn’t even something to tease you and Steve over,” he said. “Was the kid okay?”

Bucky nodded. “Yeah, she was fine. I just never could handle people picking on crippled folks.” He winced. “Sorry, I mean ‘disabled’.”

Bruce grinned. “PC lessons are working then. Nice.” He leaned against the counter. “Let me guess, you had a lot of practice growing up defending a certain sickly kid?” he asked and Bucky smiled, nodding.

“Oh yeah. I spent a good twenty years saving Steve’s ass when he bit off more than he could chew – which was always, cause he was about ninety pounds and started wheezing when he took the stairs – and even if I wasn’t coming up on him getting in trouble, I’d come up on somebody giving him trouble and have to bust some heads,” he said with a small grin. “Everybody knew better by the time we got out of school, though. Anybody in the neighborhood knew I’d come after ‘em if I heard they’d been messin’ with him.” He grimaced. “Just bothers me them boys was pickin’ on that little girl. Steve isn’t the only one who hates bullies, you know?”

Bruce chortled. “Shit, you’re talking to the kid that got his ass kicked every week in high school because of his grades and his dead parents, I hate them, too.”

Tony cringed. “I learned my lesson about laughing at the losers,” he said, and they both glared at him. “What?! Have we not learned ‘Tony Was A Bad Person In His Youth’ yet?” 

Bruce rolled his eyes and grumbled something that sounded like, ‘and what about now’ and Bucky couldn’t help laughing.

~

5.

Bucky and Steve didn’t even attempt to look apologetic when Tony brought them back to the Tower this time. “You know,” Natasha called form the couch. “You made the morning news,” she said, and Clint cackled at the television. 

There was a photo someone had posted online of Steve in Bucky’s lap, pulling his hair as he seemed to be trying to consume Bucky, all the while Bucky’s hands were squeezing Steve’s ass. Clint kicked his feet he seemed so giddy. “Do you see it, Hon?” he asked his phone. “Yep, that’s your childhood idol getting groped in public!” Clint grinned up at Steve over the back of the couch. “Yep, they’re back from jail,” he said, then chuckled. “Hey Steve, Boss Man wants to know why you felt the need to make a public spectacle of yourself?” He smirked when an angry voice came over the line. “Yeah I did just ask him that, you wanted to know!”

Steve stuck out his chest proudly. “The barista was being a jerk to a lesbian couple about holding hands in front of him, so me and Bucky decided to give him something to really complain about,” he said and Bucky slung his arm around Steve’s hips, smiling brightly.

“Definitely worth being charged with public indecency,” he said and Clint made a delighted sound and kicked his feet again as he practically _giggled_ over it all.

“Phil, Hon, oh God, he said _barista_! Did you hear their excuse? About it being a fuck you to a homophobe? Yep, sure did!” Clint smirked at whatever his husband said and leered at Steve. “Phil has such a hard on for you right now-“

They all could hear the loud, “CLINT!” from Clint’s phone at that one.

“What?! I’ve lived with you having a nerd-boner for Captain America for years and your schoolboy crush on Steve since you saw he’s actually that handsome in person, trust me, Honey, everybody knows your fantasies involve Steve’s shoulder to waist ratio,” he said and Steve blushed and Bucky smirked, slapping Steve’s ass before going to hop over the couch and settle beside Clint.

“Hey, just make sure your man knows to keep his fantasies in his head,” he said, making a fist with his metal hand. “Tell ‘em I’ll sock him if he gets any ideas,” he said with a wink. 

Clint grinned. “Nah, Phil’s crush is harmless, he’s married to me, as nice as Steve’s figure is, even his sweet ass has nothing on mine- Phil?” He looked at his phone, then rolled his eyes. “He hung up on me.” Bucky laughed, high fiving him.

Steve came to join them, sitting on Bucky’s other side, and Clint leaned forward to look at him. “So you really got arrested for public indecency?”

Steve smirked. “Good thing the cops got there when they did, Bucky was getting excited,” he said and Bucky leered at him.

“Hell, Stevie, I’ve been easily excited for you since we were kids, you can’t be surprised,” he said and Steve blushed some even as he returned Bucky’s flirty smirk. “Always blush so pretty,” he teased, leaning in to kiss Steve’s pink cheek.

Steve turned and caught his lips, smiling into the kiss. “I’m lucky you’re crazy enough to put up with me,” he said and Bucky smiled warmly.

“I’m lucky nobody else realized how incredible your kinda crazy is and stole you from me while I was gone,” he said and Steve made a sound and threw his arms around Bucky’s neck. Bucky winced, hugging him back. “Shit, Steve-“

“Awwww you did it now, Barnes,” Clint said, watching them with a sad smile as Steve tucked his face into Bucky’s shoulder and clung to him. Bucky rubbed his back, looking guilty. “I’m totally telling Phil you made his favorite cry,” he said and Bucky flipped him off.

“Fuck off,” Steve complained, voice muffled by Bucky’s shirt. Bucky laughed and kissed the side of Steve’s head.

“Yep, that’s my Stevie, alright,” he said and Clint cooed and took another photo of them to send to God knows who.

~

+1

It was Bucky that saw Clint approaching some guys at the bar with an angry look on his face. “Hold up,” he said to Steve, then slid out of his seat to go over just in time to see Clint knock over the glasses the guy was getting from the bartender. The liquid ran right off onto the guy’s lap and he cursed. “Well what is going on here, gentlemen?” he asked, slinging an arm around Clint’s shoulder, raising an eyebrow.

The bartended had his phone out already but Clint didn’t seem happy enough. “I saw this bastard dropping drugs in these drinks,” he said, and Bucky glanced around to see a couple of girls watching their way, looking confused. He turned back to the man, who was glaring.

“Yeah, a mug that ugly probably would have to rely on roofies to get a gal to give him the time of day,” he said, the words bitter on his tongue. “What kind of sick fuck are you, trying to drug somebody?” he spat angrily. He looked at the bartender, who nodded at the phone and mouthed ‘police’ and held up two fingers. “C’mon, I think somebody else has this handled,” he muttered to Clint, who nodded and let Bucky steer him away. 

“Sorry, man,” Clint said, shaking his head. “Shit’s just personal to me. I got drugged at a bar when I was seventeen. Bastard didn’t know I could defend myself even while half-conscious,” he explained and Bucky growled under his breath.

“No need to apologize-“ He was cut off by an angry shout that they could hear even over the music in the bar.

“Yes I have a problem! You won’t fucking make me a new set of drinks after that faggot spilled mine!” 

Clint went stiff at his side, eyes darkening and Bucky turned around, rage flaring in him as well. He pulled away from Clint and whirled around, stomping over to the guy. “You wanna get your ass kicked by a faggot?” he snarled, grabbing him by the collar and dragging him around.

The guy smirked. “Don’t get too excited, Cocksucker-“

“Hey!” Bucky looked up as he saw Steve pushing past Clint and coming up. “Watch what you call my boyfriend,” he said, and Bucky barely had time to duck before Steve swung and punched the guy right in the face, knocking him back into the table behind him.

Unfortunately, Bucky’s proud whoop was cut short when the table of guys all jumped up, covered in beer and looking pissed, their eyes on Bucky and Steve. “Uh-oh,” Bucky said, just in time to duck a punch and kick the guys feet out from under him. “Uh, Steve-“

“Yeah, yeah,” Steve grunted, grabbing the guy who had just punched him and shoving him over the table next to them. 

“Hey!” Natasha’s voice cut in as she grabbed one guy’s elbow and jerked him around. “Don’t do anything stupid-“

“Fuck off, Cunt,” he said, and Steve and Bucky both froze for a moment was Natasha’s eyes grew cold.

Clint gasped off to their left. “Oh shit,” he said in the second before Natasha grabbed the guy by the collar and head butted him hard enough to break his nose with a loud crack. “Fuck, fuck, Nat, don’t kill anybody!” he cried, jumping in, only to get caught by a punch and knocked into Natasha.

Natasha grimaced. “Phil’s gonna be pissed,” she said, and Clint glared.

“He can deal with it,” he said, before tackling the guy that had punched him, knocking him over the bar and shattering glasses as they tumbled past.

“Shit, shit, shit, bad idea,” Tony called as he hurried over, grabbing Natasha to drag her off of a guy, but as soon as he pulled her up and they stumbled into another group of guys, they both just got punched for their trouble. “Aw hell,” Tony grimaced, then shrugged at Natasha and shoved her out of the way before punching the guy behind her.

By the time they were all into it, Bucky just grinned as he threw a guy past Steve. “Just like old times, ha, Stevie?” he asked, and Steve laughed as he ducked another punch and carried on.

~

Pepper stood outside the cell that the Avengers were all in, arms crossed and glaring. Sam stood beside her, biting his fist to try and not laugh out loud in front of the cop there to let them out.

“Pep-“

“No,” she said coldy, shutting Tony down. “No, not you.” She shook her head. “I want to know from someone more rational what the hell I am doing here.”

Steve gave her an ashamed look. “It wasn’t our fault-“

“I said rational, not the one who has been in jail six times in six months,” she said, glaring at him.

Natasha sighed. “Pepper, look, it wasn’t that big of a thing.”

“I AM PICKING YOU ALL UP FROM JAIL!” Pepper shouted angrily. “You are one Avengers short of the entire set of ‘Earths Mightiest Heroes’ getting locked up for starting a _bar brawl_!”

“Hey, if Thor was there, it would’ve been way more fun,” Bucky interjected and then paled under Pepper’s enraged glare. “Uh, Ma’am,” he said with a small gulp.

Clint sucked in a breath. “The guy was trying to roofie some girls and then he called me the six letter f-word, then called Bucky another homophobic slur, then Steve punched him and all hell broke loose! I was Avengering and then got gaybashed! It’s not-“

“No, you got insulted by an admittedly horrible person, but Steve can’t just walk away,” she argued. She looked at Natasha and Tony. “Your side?”

Natasha shrugged. “I tried to break it up, got called a cunt, kicked some ass.”

Tony raised a hand. “I honestly did try to stop her from killing someone, but I just got jumped, too,” he defended.

Pepper looked at Bruce, who sat in the back corner looking out of place. “What did they lock you up for? Clearly we didn’t have a visit from the Other Guy, you’re not naked,” she said and Bruce gave her a sheepish grin.

“I might’ve looked up from my book and saw a guy about to hit Clint with a barstool and threw a beer bottle at his head?” he mumbled with an innocent, wide-eyed look. “Or… three beer bottles,” he admitted and the others all snickered and Natasha reached out to high-five Bruce.

Pepper just groaned and Sam gave up trying to hide it and burst into laughter, clinging to the cop beside him trying to balance. She looked at Sam with a glare and shook her head. “I give up, you take them, I’m going home.”


End file.
